Bedroom Magic

Posts Tagged ‘painful feelings’

Breaking up is one of the most painful feelings in the world to go through. I been there and it hurts like hell to lose someone you love. Immediately after the breakup you tell yourself that it’s no big deal and you will get over them in no time. Unfortunately, time seems to be your enemy during a breakup. You spend time thinking about the person who broke up with you and you have these feelings of depression, sadness, and loneness. You start asking yourself the question, what should I do to get my ex back?

The internet is filled with sites, eBooks, forums, and blogs that can help you answer the question, what should I do to get my ex back? After you breakup with someone you are not thinking clearly and you need to get focused. You need to relax your mind and use a little common sense to figure out a way to answer the question of “what should I do to get my ex back”.

Too many times a person that lost a love spend most of their free time thinking only about what they lost and not about how to get their ex back. You can’t concentrate on what happen; instead you need to concentrate on what can happen in the future.

Step 1

The key is not to get preoccupied with the past and wondering “what should I do to get my ex back?” Figure out a way to not only get your ex back, but keep them for good this time.

Step 2

You also don’t want to start playing head games with your ex. Many people after breaking up with someone lash out with childish pranks and rude comments. This is not helpful when you are trying to figure out ways to get your ex back. This type of behavior just pushes your ex away from you even more.

Step 3

Also, don’t play the game where you are pretending to date someone else and you call your ex to let them know you got someone else. When in actuality you don’t have anyone. This is not helpful when trying to get your ex back. This trick can really backfire on you and you can lose your ex for good.

Step 4

You want to live your life and let your ex see that life goes on in a normal way. Just play it cool and try to keep your emotions in check especially when you are around your ex. Make sure your ex sees that even though you have broken up, you know how to pick yourself up and get on with your life without them.
You also need to take this time to have a long talk with the person in the mirror. Take a look at what were some of the reasons you ex left you or broke up with you in the first place. You need to concentrate on those issues and find ways to correct the things that need correcting. You don’t want to totally change who you are, but at the same time look at yourself as others see you.

“What should I do to get my ex back?” Be on your best behavior and make your ex remember what drew them to you in the first place. They’ll remember your good points and will miss them. Then you’ll have a better chance of being able to get back together with your ex.

These were just a few pointers on ways to get your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren’t my original ideas. I turned to T ‘Dub’ Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.

T ‘Dub’ authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called “The Magic of Making Up”. And you know it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.

Sean has been writing about relationships for several years. You can find for more information on What Should I Do To Get My Ex Back , go to http://www.relationshipsolver.com.Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/what-should-i-do-to-get-my-ex-back-4-simple-steps-to-get-your-ex-back-1561527.html

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Tags: childish pranks, feelings of depression, painful feelings, future step, rude comments

We all have many addictive ways of avoiding feeling our painful feelings and taking responsibility for them. Some of the ways are obvious, such as using substances and processes. Some of the ways can be very subtle.

Leon often struggled with feeling empty inside. Inner emptiness is a symptom of a lack of love inside, and Leon frequently created this inner lack of love with his self-judgments and staying in his head – ignoring his feelings. Sometimes he would fill the emptiness with food, work or TV. But other times he would act out addictively by bringing up issues – generally the same issues over and over – with his wife Susan.

The major issue he focused on was how they spent money. He would start the conversation by stating, “We really need to talk about the money situation.” Susan would feel a knot in her stomach, knowing that Leon was aching for an endless discussion about money that would likely end in a fight and distance. She felt like she was in a no-win: if she talked about money, it would go on for hours and end in anger. If she didn’t, she would be accused of withdrawing and running away from problems. There seemed to be no good way out for Susan.

Eventually, Susan learned to trust her feelings and say to Leon, “I will be happy to talk with you about anything when you are open, but right now your energy feels closed. Let me know when you are feeling really great and then we can talk about it.” Not surprisingly, Leon never approaches her to talk about money when he is feeling good!

Carole periodically says to Rick, “We need to talk about our lack of communication.” Rick immediately knows that Carole is feeling badly and is trying to feel better by getting in to a long and drawn-out conversation about their lack of communication. If he engages, he ends up angry. If he doesn’t, he gets blamed for not communicating. Rick has learned to disengage just as Susan has, saying, “I’d love to communicate with you about anything when you are open, but right now my experience of you is that you are angry, and we are not going to get anywhere. Let me know when you are feeling good and then we can talk about anything you want.” Again, when Carole is feeling happy, she never brings up their lack of communication!

The subject can be anything – child raising, how time is spend, how much TV kids watch, health, nutrition, how clean or dirty the house is, chores that need to be done. It is not that these things don’t need to be discussed – they often do. But there is a huge difference between approaching your partner from a true desire to learn and resolve issues, or a desire to avoid your anxiety, emptiness, loneliness, heartache, or helplessness.

LOVINGLY DISENGAGING

If you are the partner at the other end of what may feel like an attack – even though it is couched as a question or a statement of wanting to talk – your best bet is to trust your stomach! If your stomach gets tight when your partner comes to you to talk, trust it. Learn to take loving care of yourself by refusing to talk when you are picking up your partner’s needy, abandoned, or angry energy. Recognize that your partner is acting out addictively to avoid responsibility for his or her own feelings, and that trying to talk will only create more conflict.

However, it is most important when you disengage, that you do not withdraw your love. It might even be helpful if you give your partner a sincere hug, coming from your compassion at knowing that your partner is hurting. Let your partner know that when he or she is open to learning, you will be there – to talk about an issue or to be of help with whatever your partner is feeling.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Ready to join the thousands who have discovered addiction-free joy? Learn Inner Bonding now! Click here for a FREE Inner Bonding Course, and visit our website at www.innerbonding.com for more articles and help. Phone Sessions Available.Article Source:http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/avoiding-your-feelings-by-focusing-on-your-partner-1547306.html

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Tags: money situation, lack of communication, inner emptiness, food work, painful feelings